In August 1993, when I was 28 and still in grad school (and expecting the TXgirl, who would be born in January 1994), this poem of mine appeared in the New Yorker. It was the only poem I ever published in the New Yorker, and the reason it appeared there --- the reason the poetry editor, Alice Quinn, looked at it at all --- was that Mark Strand, who had recently been U.S. Poet Laureate and with whom I studied at the University of Utah, told me to send it to her, and told her to look at it. She never looked at anything I sent afterwards, and in fact did not bother to send, or to have her underlings send, even form rejection notes, and so ended my quest to land more poems in that famous place.
I'm thinking about this now because there's a new anthology out to mark the centenary of the New Yorker, by gathering as many poems as possible published between 1925 and 2025. My poem is there, on page 409, as it happens. Although I haven't bought the anthology yet --- no, they apparently don't send contributor copies --- I have been quietly celebrating this inclusion among my friends, and the poem in its original form has been having a little heyday. My mother was so thrilled at the time that she cut it out of a copy of the magazine and had it framed with the cover of that issue, an artwork that now hangs on my dining-room wall, where I have photographed it to share with you.
That summer I still entertained all kinds of ambitions and had no idea how little any of them were going to matter. If things have not gone the way I expected them to go when I was 28 --- well, thank goodness for that. There but for the grace of God, &c.
Anyway, here we are. Today, already, I have
*seen the Artgirl on her way back west
*finished my Wordsworth essay for tomorrow
*done two loads of laundry and hung one (so far)
*bathed the dog for the second time in three days, after she found something disgusting to roll in in the backyard. I don't know what it was or how it got there, but it stank to high heaven. And so, YET AGAIN, she has been wetted to the skin in the hose --- cold water, they say, is good for stimulating the vagus nerve --- and scrubbed with Dr. Bronner's, so that she smells bracingly clean. She probably hates that. In fact, she certainly hates it. That's why she rolled in the filth, to get rid of day before yesterday's bracing cleanliness. Alas, dogs lack the necessary neural connections for the kind of reasoning that involve causation, or even correlation. She has no idea why, when she emerges from these rolling sessions looking all pleased with herself, I do not also respond with pleasure. As far she she is concerned, my reaction is totally random. Getting a bath is, similarly, a totally random unpleasantness, unconnected with any action on her part. It just happens, dammit, and then there's this bracing cleanliness that offends the canine nostril and so must be dealt with. That's the only place in the whole process where causation kicks in at all. I hate the way I smell; where is some filth?
*ate a grilled-brie sandwich with fig preserves
I still have another essay to write for Monday and will at least give it some thought today. I might give it some thought while I clean house a little and wash the red-checked tablecloth, so that I can spread both of them on the dining-room table for dinner tomorrow night. My table is too long for any single tablecloth; that's why I own two identical red-checked cloths, which I mostly use at Christmas, for a cheerful, folksy kind of holiday table. But they work well for summer dinners, too. Currently one is resting in the drawer, while the other has been on the kitchen table for at least a week and so needs a wash.
Wearing today:
*Secondhand vintage Erika&Co floral pinafore, bought November 2023, last worn June 4. Wears in 2025: 10
*Secondhand Eileen Fisher merino tank, bought January 2023 (not tracking # of wears --- this thing cost me $11, and if it's not in the negative cost-per-wear by now, it will be soon)
*Darn Tough no-show socks, first wear
*Secondhand Xero Oswegos, first wear
Just-washed hair, air-dried in the sunshine outside. Again, I didn't load it up with products. No conditioner. Just shampoo (2x) and LUS 3-in-1, which is pretty light, especially when it's diluted with water. If I can largely give my hair a rest from the diffuser this summer, that's a good thing, as long as I don't end up with dermatitis again. Even with zero real attempt at styling, I still get nice waves, which is down to the weather as much as anything else. Good products just help the waves wave instead of frizzing. Having even remotely soft, un-stiff hair is kind of a revelation, and I do credit these Humby shampoo bars and the LUS leave-in for that.
I'm very happy with these Xero Oswegos that I bought.
I love this muted green, which I think will work much better for me than either purple or the dark charcoal. The thing I particularly like is that the fabric uppers aren't heathered, the way the others are, so that I don't look as though I'm wearing sweatshirts for my feet.
I mean, I like these charcoal ones all right, but I like the olive-green ones a lot better. They've got the same wide toe box and good tread on the sole, so they're great for walking --- but they look sleeker and less absolutely casual. I could even see wearing them with tights, which really did not work with the heathered shoes --- I wouldn't wear tights with sneakers, and the vibe was more like that. But these green ones look a little more like oxfords, and I think a tights look could work with them, when the time comes.
Anyway, I've cleaned and disinfected the charcoal-gray Oswegos as well as the purple ones, and both pairs are up for sale. We'll see if anybody bites. I would love to move some things along and build up a little credit again. I don't want to spend any more actual cash on my remaining secondhand purchases --- fortunately there's nothing I really need right now, and surely by the fall, when I might want another good heavy cardigan, I will have some credit amassed so that I don't have to drop money on it.
For now, especially with no-show socks, these Oswegos are a nice alternative to sandals. I like that they're a darker neutral, but don't create a harsh contrast with either my skin tone or my hemline. My feet and my eyes: all happy.
On with the afternoon.