Yesterday I focused on what I was doing, and not on larger goings-on in the world. This is an introspective clothing blog, anyway, not a current-events or ethics or anything-else kind of blog, even though in the course of being introspective about my clothes, I sometimes wind up talking about other things. Suffice it to say that my feelings about yesterday's big Current Event are far more mixed and ambivalent than I would ever have expected them to be. For years I have prayed earnestly for an end to legalized abortion in America. For years I have considered this to be a human-rights issue, a violation of the bodily autonomy and human dignity of the unborn child. I have not always voted in the obvious pro-life ways, because . . . well, political answers are never total answers, and I haven't had a whole lot of faith in the people holding out those answers as answers. It all too often seemed glib and simplistic, to the point of dishonesty, and all too often went hand-in-hand with policies that withdrew the kinds of safety nets and supports that might help children and their parents flourish.
It seems to me that we still have a whole lot of work to do on that last front. I am also terribly afraid of the divisions that are revealing themselves all over the internet, as representative of actual culture --- the best remedy for those, really, is to get off the internet, at least the places that serve as crossroads where many voices overlap. I don't want to be out of touch, but at the same time I need to guard my own clarity about things. And pray. Far more than I need to get sucked into debate with people, I need to keep praying, for all of us. And I probably need to knock some money toward a crisis pregnancy center.
Meanwhile, yesterday was the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart, and today is the Memorial of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. There's a line in Rumer Godden's In This House of Brede in which Dame Philippa, the nun, is counseling her very young former secretary, who has had an abortion but now is pregnant again and is worrying about her husband's reaction and what a baby will mean for their future. In essence what Philippa says is this: Put it all in that great heart, and REST. Actually what I think she says is and go to sleep, but that's what she means. I could very much do with a Dame Philippa in my life, but the Dame Philippa of the novel gives good counsel. In his Sacred Heart, Christ holds all creation together in himself. We exist in that heart, and it is the heart of love. It's good to remind ourselves to rest in it.
Also meanwhile, yesterday, as you may recall, I dyed my purple bamboo swing dress. This was the occupation of the afternoon, and it was a lot of fun. Although I'd intended to dye the dress pink, the remaining purple seams indicated that dyeing it a darker color, for less contrast, would be the better course, so I used a combination of royal-blue and indigo dyes. I documented the process in yesterday's post; today, here's the update:
Fully dried, the dress is a lighter, brighter shade than I had originally thought it was. It's much more a washed navy/vintage blue kind of color, and I like it a lot. I did not have any dye fixative, though I might use some on it later --- I expect that it will bleed and fade some more, even with cold handwashing, and that's okay.
In sadder news, the stains I'd thought had been removed are still there, but they're less visible on the more grayed fabric.
There are also some weird little green flecks I didn't notice earlier, which may be where dye didn't take. Oh well. Overall I'm very happy with this first attempt --- and I can dye it again if I become unhappy with it. Next time I'd just overdye the existing blue and deal with any imperfections. It's not worth stripping out the color again, I don't think. We'll see how things evolve over time, but for now I'm really happy to have tried this, in a can't-lose situation. Now I know I CAN do it. I can think of things I'd do differently next time, but as a first attempt, this feels pretty successful.
There is a funky faded patch on the front, but the more I look at it, the more it looks like a heart. Seems appropriate, and not accidental, given the day.
I'm going to receive it as a message: put it all in that great heart, and REST.
Here's the dyed dress as compared with my originally-blue bamboo swing dress of the same make:
The difference is a lot more striking than I had originally thought. This is good news: I don't feel nearly so much as though I'd just made a duplicate dress. I also love that this dyed dress is a medium, and therefore a little longer, than either of my navy bamboo dresses. It's a good bit shorter than my Wool& Maggie dress, but long enough that I could conceivably wear it to church. I also like that my Xero Colorado sandals make a bit more contrast with the color at my hem.
I'm still considering dyeing my wool Camellia dress a darker color. I'm going to meditate a bit on my technique, though at least I'd be overdyeing the original color, not stripping it out first. But I think I will go for a definitely brighter darker blue, something that tilts more royal blue/cobalt. I'll also be sure to have dye fixative and vinegar, the latter of which I didn't need yesterday, since you use salt to dye rayon, rather than acid. I might just go for a Dharma acid dye, though I think Rit + vinegar would work just as well. And I think I might look out a big dishpan, rather than a bucket, so that the item can lie flatter and more spread out to receive the dye.
In other less happy news, a friend tells me that in the Wool& Facebook group, there's been a lot of pressure for the company to make some official statement in protest of the Supreme Court decision, in favor of Planned Parenthood, etc. Since I'm having a no-buy year anyway, I think this is probably a good time just to leave that group, for my own mental health. I've enjoyed the connections and the diversity, but it feels now like a profoundly unwelcoming space, and I'm not in a place myself to be able to stomach that. Sadly, if the company does take some kind of official stance, that will be the end of my buying from them. I think I'd looked at their donation list before, because I had been noticing donation patterns among small companies, but I will certainly look again now. While I have limited faith in boycotts --- and really, I wouldn't call for a boycott --- AND while I know that it's virtually impossible to shop in some morally pure manner, especially when you have to deal with large corporations, as is unavoidable in American life, I have in the past chosen not to buy from small sustainable-clothing companies who put their support for Planned Parenthood up front, and whose sales function as fundraisers for that organization. I've done it before; I can do it again, though this time with sadness, because I have really liked what Wool& stands for and loved my dresses. Again, I realize my own inconsistency. I know I'm trading with corporations all the time who donate to all kinds of causes I wouldn't knowingly support. But if a small company whom I have wanted to support deliberately foregrounds a cause I find morally repugnant, then I really can't look the other way. I'll wish them well in their endeavors, and I absolutely don't seek to shut them down or cancel them for taking a stand that isn't mine, but I won't be able to justify buying from them again.
That, in the great scheme of things, is a tiny price to pay for justice for the unborn child.
UPDATE: As far as I can tell, the company is declining to make any overt statement. Their donations don't seem at the moment to include Planned Parenthood. My hope is that they will hold a space open for diverse positions --- possibly their own corporate team represents diverse positions regarding this issue and others. Strong-arming people into lock-step unity is just that: strong-arming. I won't knowingly support a company that chooses that course of action, and I'm hopeful, thus far, that this little company will, by declining to comment, hold that space open. Silence is NOT violence. It is an open door for thoughtful exchange.
UPDATE: the little green spots on the dress seem to be pollen.
I will definitely plan to buy more bamboo swing dresses secondhand, once my buying window opens again toward the end of this year (my birthday, Christmas --- I think I'll use December, especially as a period for assessing my needs and wants for the coming year and trying to meet them, so that I can roll into a no-buy 2023 as well, and just make this my default mode). The good news now is that I don't have to wait for them to be the right color. I do have to take stitching into account, but given that caveat, the knowledge that I can dye any clothing item any color I like is fairly empowering. I would love to find some midi-length bamboo dresses, though . . .
ALSO: the garden fence project continues apace.
MUCH LATER:
Oh, also, I washed my hair today: Vida shampoo and conditioner bars, just used as you'd normally use shampoo and conditioner + some Aussie Hard Freeze gel. When I'd rinsed and combed out my conditioned hair, I bent over so that my hair was upside-down, and ran water through it and combed it and ran water through it again, so that it was detangled but also really wet and clumped. Then I smoothed and raked a pretty good amount of gel, like several quarter-sized dollops, all through my hair, working it from roots to ends. I smoothed another couple of handfuls of water through, too, to make sure I'd distributed the gel evenly. Then I scrunched out the excess water and plopped it in a t-shirt turban, which I kept on for a good part of the afternoon, till I was ready to finish drying it. I diffused in a couple of stages to get it pretty much completely dry.
Here are some shots of the pre-crunch-scrunch stage:
I did eventually scrunch it with my hands to try to break up some of this stringiness. I might or might not comb it before I go to bed (one curly-girl thing I've never done is wear something on my head while I sleep, no thank you, not worth it to me). The thing I notice about adding gel is that it does, on the first day or so, give me more definition. Then, as I comb my hair out more, I can get gentler waves without so much frizz --- wavy hair, but sleeker than it would have been without the gel.
I really continue to like the Vida Bars. I'm still using my original set, which I've had for over a month --- they're still not cheap, but they do last pretty well, and of the zero-waste options I've tried, they are the absolute best. And the Aussie gel is inexpensive, certainly compared with other CGM-approved options. This is a simple-enough routine, though I still hate having wet hair for hours and then having to diffuse it --- but if I have to do that only twice a week, then that's okay.
Ready for Sunday, and still loving the color of this dress.
The garden fence is just about finished, too.