Rebottled dandelion wine, aging on the fairly shady sill.
Meanwhile . . .
DAY 25! 1/4 OF THE 100-DAY CHALLENGE, DONE!
Today's feature: infinity scarf as belt.
With homemade bike shorts/cut-off leggings, so that theoretically I could do cartwheels.
My simple routine continues:
1. Get up
2. Put on clothes
3. Wear clothes all day
4. Take off clothes
5. Spot-clean and/or hand-wash items worn all day (to include: dress, bra, underpants, bike shorts, apron, etc)
6. Hang on drying rack
7. Go to bed
8. Get up in the morning, put on dry clothes, live
I like everything about this.
One of the things I like about taking these silly pictures of myself is that while I am manifestly not a fashion maven, I find things to appreciate about the way I look. Looking at the photographs above, I see that while I have gained 15 pounds in the last year, and I'm not completely delighted about that, I don't have to dislike my appearance. I have a healthy, active body. I think my legs –– as 56-year-old legs go –– look great. When I belt this dress fairly high up, I also look taller and longer-legged, which when you're 5'4 is kind of something. My coloring is pretty. My hair is healthy and pretty –– a little wild, but healthy and pretty. I'm not the kind of striking person who's going to turn every head when I walk into a room, but that's okay with me. Again, I think I reward whatever attention someone wants to bend my way.
And I like that it's honestly not hard to achieve all these things. The main thing, though, is that in my own mind it's not impossible. Hence these reminders.
LATER:
On our walk, I talked to my husband about my plans for a no-buy-clothing 2022.
His response was exactly the response he'd had to this 100-day dress challenge:
Why would you do this to yourself?
It's a fair question. What he's not saying, mind you, is I don't want to see you in the same outfit all the time. He's not saying, Do you think I can't provide for you? He's not saying, Whoa, gross! He's not saying, What is wrong with you, you whackhat?
He is saying:
*I'm afraid you feel ashamed or guilty about something
*I'm afraid you're limiting yourself unnecessarily
*I'm afraid you're making yourself not-free in some deep way
What he is saying, in fact, provides some interesting points for discussion. In the discussion that ensued on our walk, I was able to say the following:
*I like formal challenges. To me this is like the rules for a sonnet, but with clothing instead of words.
*Even thrift-shopping, the amount of money I spend adds up, and possibly we might find something together that we'd like to spend that money on.
*More choices ≠ more freedom.
*A year in which I practice detachment and gratitude as an exercise seems like a year potentially well-spent.
*I am not making a solemn vow before God, and can dispense myself from this no-buy rule any time it seems like not a good thing.
*I am planning for this exercise as I would plan to begin a healthier eating regimen: clearing the shelves of things I don't want to eat, laying in things I do want to eat, so that I will eat the latter, not the former, and will always have something to eat when I'm hungry.
*As with a change in my eating, I don't want to set myself up to feel deprived. ***
*I do want not to view my clothing as disposable. Whatever I do buy between now and December 31, it will be with a view of getting lots of wear out of it.
*I do want to wear what I already own creatively, and to get it to work hard for me. I have a lot. What's more, I have a lot that works well, and has the potential to work even better.
*Case in point: I've had this infinity scarf for 2 or 3 years, having found it at Goodwill. I really like it. I also never wear scarves in the summer. But thanks to following other people doing the 100-day dress challenge, I have seen scarves worn as belts, et voila. New life for something I already had, and a new tweak for something I'm wearing every day. This is the kind of thing I look forward to doing more and more, because I find it fun and creative and also non-wasteful.
*Yes, I do have a little shopping list going. There are things I still want, not because I think they're going to make my life complete and turn me into the person I've always dreamed of being, but because they'll support me in happily wearing what I have without feeling deprived. Thinking here of some things I've already acquired, like more colored tights. Thinking also of shoes for the winter, to give me a little more really-usable variety. Thinking of possible cardigans and top layers.
*BUT I'm also thinking of ways I can shop my closet and drawers, and that's at least as fun as thinking about the list above.
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***In Charlotte Mason education, we talk a lot about habit-training and "Education as Discipline." All of this is simply a way of saying that we make use of our natural brain plasticity to encode rhythms of life and action into our neural structures, by way of repetition. If you want something to become second nature to you, as in an ingrained habit, so that you do it (or don't do it) without even thinking about it, then you have to do it repeatedly, consistently, the same way, for a sustained period of time.
If you can't sustain the repetition, you won't develop the habit. Whatever it is you want to repeat consistently, you have to make it not impossible or even that unpleasant for you to keep doing it. If it's self-defeating or unpleasant, you won't keep doing it. (This is true for children, too, which is something every parent should stop and ponder hard before embarking on any disciplinary system). If you feel deprived, you won't sustain whatever it is.
I think about this every time people talk about purging their closets, or going minimalist. Now, I think it's a great thing to winnow down possessions. Your house will be a lot more chaotic if you have a lot of stuff and noplace to put it. You house becomes automatically more peaceful and well-ordered when there's a place for everything and everything is in its place. You don't have to have minimal belongings to achieve that sense of peace and order. You just have to have no more than you have places for.
The same principle pertains to clothes. I think it's wise not to own more than you can conceivably wear. I think it's wise to consider carefully how the elements of your wardrobe work together and to move in the direction of being able to make an outfit, potentially out of any combination of pieces in your closet.
I think it's not wise to get rid of a bunch of stuff in a hurry, just because the getting-rid-of-stuff bug has bitten you, and you've decided to change your life, and the new you is going to wear only one color, or only one kind of fiber, or only one shape, or . . . whatever. This seems akin to deciding that you're going on some radically different diet, so you purge your house of all the food you've been eating in your old bad unhealthy life, but you don't bother to go shopping for any new groceries.
Things I think you can easily let go:
*clothes that don't fit
*clothes that are wearing out
*clothes you bought because you thought you ought to buy them, but you've never really liked them –– you can give yourself permission to write off the sunk cost and release yourself from those clothes
*clothes in colors and shapes that are simply not flattering to you, even if you think you should look good in them because they're "classic" or "versatile" or "universally flattering," or "on trend." I am saying, let go of the black, unless you honestly look and feel most radiantly yourself in black. Or whatever color. Doesn't have to be black; it just often is black.
If you're on the fence, hold things up to your face. Take pictures of yourself in those clothes. Really consider hard what you do look and feel good in, and let go of anything that doesn't tick those boxes, even if you're convinced you should like those things and wear them. Forget should.
Things I think you should not be too hasty about:
*anything you have actually liked, that fits and isn't worn out, even if you can't see right now how it fits with your new life/self/image
*anything in a color you like and feel good in, even if you can't see right away how you're going to use it
*any accessory, as long as you have room for it –– if your scarf drawer is overflowing, then I guess you have to make some decisions, but if you have a place to put it, don't be in a hurry to get rid of it, at least until you've had a chance to shop your wardrobe for creative options on a regular basis
You will create the habits you want if the whole process is sustainable. It will not be sustainable if you make yourself feel deprived.
Lecture directed primarily at myself, but if it helps someone else, then good.